The 3am Ramblings

Well hello there!

It's 3am on a friday morning and my iPod crashes. Just another thing I need to add to the list of things in my life that need fixing.

It's been a VERY long couple of weeks, mainly consisting of me messing up most opportunities that seem to head my way. I left the "Starnow" website due to money problems, which is a bonus on the money saving aspect, but a bit of a downer that I have to give up something I quite like because I don't have any money. My mum, my friends, medical professionals and the internet are all telling me I just need to chill, but that is so much easier said than done!

Since when my social life become so stressful?!?!?!

Yes I know there are worse things going on this world: world hunger, wars etc. But you have think, I'm not heavily involved in them so I choose to focus on the things that are actually happening to me, like a lack of money, over-sleeping to the extent that I'm getting awfully close to missing lectures, juggling drama and work, which I can do and struggling so much that I feel like a burden on anyone I tell, because I know I'm just annoying them. Is it so much to ask for a break? A few days when I don't have to worry about money, sleep, work? I love my friends and I could never just walk out on them so that's out of the question. Money is so influential in people's lives so that is something I can't mess with. And I can do something about this sleep thing, I just need to find enough free time to sleep, plus have time to slide in a bit of shorthand.

I should really stop complaining about my life, my mate's all tell me to man up and deal with life. I should probably listen. I do listen to it, and it works for a little while, then a metaphorical "landmine" hits and screws everything up and takes me back to square one, hence the blog at 3am....

Some people recently have said somethings to me that filled me with such confidence that I wanted to scream to the heavens that I can do it! They know who they are and thank you. I felt so happy, and to be honest, who doesn't love being complimented. I'm not an attention seeker. I may seem like it with all the complaining I do......

But do stop and think that I may be asking you for help but too scared to actually ask?

H.x