Let's not exit through the gift shop...

I'm feeling philosophical...

Maybe it's because I've completely finished for my second year of uni...yeah it's been a while...

But I've been thinking about exits...odd topic but it has some relevance.

I had 2 weeks of work experience, and even though I thought it was a really valuable experience, I found that it was not the career choice I'd like to go in to. So for quite a while, I was looking for a way out, or at least looking forward to the end of the day, week, the entire work experience.

I make it sound like the worst place to work, it wasn't. It was just me, I found what my calling is...I hope.

So it got me thinking, everywhere I looked, there were exits everywhere...and I mean everywhere!!

At the train station, a fire exit...a front door...a hug...anything!

Yes, it's going to be that kind of post, if you don't want to read it, feel free to leave, but if you do carry on reading, no piss-taking. This is all mine, you don't like it, deal with it.

This sounds like me going on about some weird stuff, and I don't blame you in thinking that reading this would just mess with your head. But it has a point...honest! What I mean is, if we feel like we need to escape from something, we can turn anything into an exit.

A classic example, cheesy as usual, but I am stressed...a lot...so an easy escape for me is a hug with someone I care a lot about. Whereas a conventional exit would be me, waiting at the station for my train to work experience, and wanting to walk out the same way I came in. However, I am not a quitter, so I sat where I was and waited for my train.

Whatever your situation, whatever your mood, anything can be an exit, an escape, from reality. A good book, a movie, a phone call, an actual door (who'd have thought it?)

But sometimes you need to to ignore those giant exit signs and stay exactly where you are. You have no idea what you may miss if you leave too early. I know that if I had left early, from university, I would have made the biggest mistake of my life. I would have never met the people I know so well today, had experiences I would never have anywhere else....etc etc.

Overall, sometimes having that little secret escape route (or escape rope for my Pokemon fans) is a fantastic resource, and if you have it, never let it go. But only use it if it's the last thing you can do. The amount of times I've taken an exit and missed out on an amazing opportunity, I can't even count it on my fingers anymore, and it's stupid, because it is all my fault, no-one else to blame.

But the times, when I've ignored that little flashing exit sign in my head and stayed where I am have given me some life-changing experiences, advice and more I could have ever hoped for.

Oh, it's just been one of those weeks....

Live Long and Prosper

H. x



and p.s. I'm making good headway on that list from my last post...

I'm back baby!!

Hi....it's been a while....sorry....I was doing a blog for my module at university....

HOWEVER! I AM BACK!

And with a happy and optimistic start....not because I've just finished my second year of uni....what? who said that? hehehehe

I recently found myself reading a blog about a women named Louise who is suffering from Cancer. She was recommended by her husband to start blogging her experiences, and that's what she did, and I must say it brought a tear (well many tears) to my eyes.

If you want a read (bring a hankie) then here is Lou's Story

But it got me thinking about life and everything in between. What if (god forbid) I was in her situation? Would my friends and family react the same way as hers did? Would I be the same as her?

But then another thought popped into my head: no-one acts the same in these sorts of situations. However, nearly everyone comes out the same in the end, which is:

I shall start living in the present. I shall do what makes me happy

And to be honest, I couldn't agree more.

Just over a year ago, I lost my Aunt to cancer. It was a truly awful time, especially as such a horrible disease taking someone who was one of the nicest people you will ever meet. My biggest regret was being at university at the time, and not being able to do anything to help. It all happened so fast.

This spurned my family to become closer, and for my mum to fulfill a dream she's had for many many many years: to buy a B'n'B. I couldn't have been prouder of her, for doing what she wanted to do with her life, and for making herself happy.

However, it has dawned on me that I haven't done the same....So below is a list of things I want to do to make me happy, plus some other stuff that I thought I'd throw in:

• I am fat. Simple as. My BMI tells me I'm over-weight, no point fretting with the facts. But, even though I will try and lose some, I have my whole life to lose it. While I'm at university, I'm going to enjoy myself and my freedom with food...

• I don't go out as much as I would like. Either I'm ill/not in the mood/have deadlines. There's nothing I can do in those cases, but more times I just need to say f*** it! YOLO (as my mate Alice would say)

• I'm too emotional. Now I know you're saying "there's nothing wrong with that". However, when you are walking home crying, you know something needs to change. I won't necessarily stop being emotional at all, I'm not an ice queen, but I will start making changes in my life that stop me from getting that emotional in the first place.

• I'm finally with an amazing guy, and verging on being with him for 6 months....I plan on being with him for a hell of a lot longer, and he does too, which is great!!!

• I'm going home to see my Mum and Dad soon. I plan on giving them the biggest hug of their lives and never EVER letting go....sorry Mum and Dad....

• I want to go back to Essex to see all my wonderful friends, who even though know I no longer live pretty much next door, still treat me as such, and I love them even more for it!

• I want to scream....just really loudly....to just let it all out....all the anger, all the hate, all the stress....everything....

• I want to go see Russell Howard live again....I love him! And Coldplay, they are currently playing on my iPod, and I think they are amazing....

Probably more will get added, but these will do for now....

Live Long and Prosper....

And I really mean it!