......Red Vine?

Wow! what a couple of weeks

It’s not even mid-week yet and it’s already been jam-packed with tons of things! I best start with what I mentioned in my last post...my exam results...

Drum roll please..........I PASSED!  I am officially a second year student of university now, and that prospect is terrifying! I now have to go back to university and have people in a younger year than me again. It’s like being back at secondary school, only cooler and filled with a lot more takeaways. I am no longer a “fresher”, but to be honest I will always be a fresher at heart. I loved my first year with every fibre in me. Yes, I experienced stuff that I hoped I would never come across again. Yes, I challenged myself to try new things. And yes, I got my heart broken a few times, but that’s life isn’t it? You’ve got to roll with the punches and take what comes your way. I am very much a believer in fate, and that everything happens for a reason, but I always believe that we can all choose our own paths in life. We always have a choice. Corny as it sounds (and believe me it sounds corny) I live by that philosophy. I also live by the saying that “In life, it’s not about the amount of breathes you take, it’s about the moments that take your breath away.”

God I’m oozing with cheesiness today!

Getting these exams results has given me a new lease of confidence. I feel like I can accomplice anything that university throws my way! Bring on second year!

In other news, I have a job!! How awesome is that!! I genuinely thought I wouldn’t stand a chance at getting the job, even though my interview went really well. I got the e-mail today saying I got the job and as I was out at the time, I couldn’t really celebrate in my usual fashion (running around shouting “I got the job!! I got the job!!” I literally skipped home, which is very hard to do with 2x2 litre bottles of Dr Pepper in my hands, and I danced and pranced around my living room. Suffice as to say, I got some weird and confused looks off my dog Daisy. I am now an employee of Sainsburys, the giant supermarket about 10 minutes from my house. I am working the night shifts, which means I might actually be tired when I go to bed. I become something of a night owl recently due to the combination of doing sod all during the day and the large amounts of caffeine entering my blood stream. I’m sure if doctors took a blood sample from me today they would find large quantities of Dr Pepper. I have a serious addiction to it, but at least the first stage of curing an addiction is admitting you have a problem.

To fill you in on another piece of exciting news, my brother has now flown off to America for 6 weeks. I am so proud of him for making quite a big decision to do this. He’s been looking forward to this trip for months, and even purchased his ticket on our birthday. He seemed so happy when we dropped him off at the airport this morning at 5am (Yes you read that right, 5am!) I, unfortunately, couldn’t stop myself from crying. It was an extremely emotional moment, seeing my brother off into the unknown, but I’m glad that he will be safe out there. I am going to miss him an awful lot. After all he is my little brother (It’s only by 2 minutes but I’m still older) and me and him have been pretty much been a constant in each other’s lives, and so him being 4,600 miles away from the person you grew up with is very hard. He would hate me for calling him my little brother, especially as he is about 6 inches taller than me, but he’s nearly 5,000 miles away, so I’ll just face his wrath over Skype. He said to me he will try and bring me back some” Red Vines”. (If you have ever seen “A Very Potter Musical” and “A Very Potter Sequel” then you’ll understand my excitement over getting this sweetie) He also said he would try and bring us back some “Twinkies” which I am incredibly excited about. To basically round this paragraph up as I appear to be rambling, is that I am so proud of my brother and I hope he has the best time out in America. I will miss him so much while he is out there.

Anywho, not really had much to say today, but I shall write more once I’ve started my new job!

Live long and Prosper

H. x

"Paradise" is saying what you really feel...

Hi-de-Hi!

1 week till the results of my first year at university. I’m not going to mince with words here....I’m bricking it! Compared with others in my group (you know who you are) I’m quite thick in the head. Their grades are considerably higher than mine, and I just about got by as it is, but now with the second year looming, the pressure is mounting. There is a lot riding on these results: if I fail, I can’t be the treasurer of Drama Society, I can’t live with my friends next year, I’ll have to go out and get a job and I may have to resit exams. There’s too much pressure, which is stressing me out, which is seriously messing up my sleeping pattern! With all these late nights, I’m finding it harder and harder to find things to do. “Doctor Who” is no longer on BBC iPlayer; my iPod keeps mucking me about and no one is awake to talk to. It’s quite awkward sitting in my living room at god-only-knows what time wondering what I should do to fill the waking hours until my brain goes “oh sod all this thinking I’m too tired, let’s just sleep” which seems to be more often than not at about 5am.

Let’s just say my mum is not too happy about this as I keep waking her up. She blames the caffeine in my drink for keeping me up late and waking her in the early hours....I blame the creaky floorboards as I’m walking up the stairs and across my room to my bed. Not my fault Thank You.

As I’m typing this, I’m listening to my iTunes, which seems to be mucking up thanks to my ancient laptop. I’ve had this massive thing for 5 years now, and if I lean on it while I’m typing, the sound turns from very clear to incredibly bad audio. This also happens when I breathe and my stomach pushes on the plug for my earphones at the front. Yes, I am that fat. I should probably go on a diet, but that requires changing my lifestyle of sitting watching TV while I enjoy the company of Dr Pepper and sampling the delights of Tesco’s own cheese ball crisps. They are so bad for me but so lovely. Also the concept of a “diet” requires me to move around in an energetic fashion. This means: running (or waddling in my case) or doing lots of awkward stretches. I don’t need to humiliate myself even further in front of my neighbours (I should explain 1) we have a giant window in our dining room that our neighbours can see in to and 2) that once when it rained a lot I danced in a giant puddle in my bare feet laughing manically....oh happy days) I don’t like moving around as it is, but to add to that is just torture. I would do more exercise but when your body carries on moving independently from you when you’ve stopped moving is quite the put off.

However, moving swiftly on from that ghastly mental image (sorry), I’ve been thinking about lists recently....that sounded less weird in my head.

But these lists are about certain aspect of my life, maybe about my love life (which seems to be popping up more often than not) or maybe a list about all the things I had wished I had said to people. You know when you feel like you should say something, but you’ve been too afraid. Well I get that a HELL of a lot! Y’know what I mean, all those things you want to say to an ex, what you wish you could scream to their face and then walk off, but never had the courage to do. I’ve had the courage to say it before, but to a friend and not to their face. Except in one case where I did actually say it to them, as we were still together at the time, and it did work out for the better. But stuff like that requires a lot of courage, and I was persuaded to say something to him by my friend, when I was at the point of tears, crying my eyes out to her. It really does help I promise, and things may seem bad at first, but they get better.

So, seeming as I had “lists” as the topic of choice swimming around in my head, I decided to create a list for the women of the world. Basically, this is a list of songs I listen to when I’m feeling a little bit down and need a bit of a pick-me-up. Funnily enough it’s what I’m listening to as I type out this post. It’s designed to be listened to when you need empowering, when you need the courage to go and tell that certain person what you want to really want to say, and sod to what they think of it. You may disagree with what songs I choose, but these are the songs that I have.

Firstly, we have “Bust your Windows” sung by Mercedes in “Glee”. Now I’m not a massive fan of Glee, but when I heard this song, you could hear the attitude she gave off while singing it. She smashes the window on her friend Kurt’s car when she confesses that she likes him, and he covers it by saying that he doesn’t like her but that he likes Rachel. This is also false as he is actually looking at Finn.....so confusing.

Next we have an instrumental piece from the film “The Three Musketeers” called “As far away as Possible” This is the most recent re-make of the film starring Logan Lermon (Love him so much!) and I love this song as it has such a strong build up, it really gets you pumped for whatever you are about to do.

Next is “What doesn’t kill you (Stronger)” by Kelly Clarkson. This is a song that I know has got me through some tough times when things haven’t gone my way, and that I can bounce back from them. Much like “Bust your Windows” you can really hear the emotion in Kelly Clarkson singing.

“Titanium” by Sia is the next on my list. It’s the first song I’ve ever listened that has ever made me want to run, and fast! (Yeah you heard right, a song that makes me want to exercise...shocker!) Also I love this song as on the chorus you can belt it out, which really does help with excess energy when you need to vent. Many car trips at university have been filled with this song on full volume.

Lastly, we have “Paradise” by Coldplay. This is one of those rare songs that will end up being timeless. I first heard this song when I was going through my first break up at university, and my friend was driving me to her house to get ready for a night out to cheer me up. It gives you the courage to just get up and do what you want, which is why I love this song so much.

Look these up on YouTube and tell me they don’t get you in the mood to say what you feel! I would love to know what songs get you pumped up for making your feelings known. Just comment below and I’ll check them out.

Live long and Prosper

H.x

The only time when a Knight (and Day) isn't a good thing...

Hello all!

Sorry for not posting in a while. I’m now back home in Essex after moving everything I own from my university. If I’m honest the reason I haven’t written in a while is because nothing much has happened. I’ve gone out a few times with my friends, been shopping, but mostly I’ve been trawling the mean streets of Basildon for work. My CV has been sprawled across Eastgate shopping centre looking for a home. However, no such luck. Another reason for my lack of postings is because I actually had a plan for this one. I had something I actually wanted to write......and then I lost it.

I know, I know that was incredibly stupid of me, but I was moving and it got muddled up with everything else. HOWEVER after many a minute was spent searching for my “little red book”..... Viola! It is now back in my possession! This book was given to me by my Nana for Christmas, which is meant to be a diary, and it was, until I got bored and started doodling.

After realising my doodles better suited a whiteboard, I had little use for my “little red book”, but when I decided that my blog posts needed a bit more planning. My book suddenly had a purpose again! My mum has been telling me to do more stuff to keep me away from the dreads of daytime television. So instead of doing housework like she has suggested (sorry mum) I’m going to put my planning to good use! I’ve always been an organised person (ask some of my friends, I recently told one of them I have a “day out bag” which is a bag prepped with anything you may need on a day out: snacks, a hat, an umbrella, hair tie and clips, phone, deodorant and many other weird manner of things. Please tell me I’m not the only one out there that does that?) And so I found that anything that’s planned ahead of time always turns out better. However, this doesn’t seem to work with my university work. This is proven by the fact that I finish my essay a few days, maybe even a week before the deadline with lots of planning and I’ll score 9 out of 15, whereas others will do it the night before and get 12 out of 15. Maybe I should start doing that.....

Anyway moving on, what I had planned to write about were men. (That sounds a lot creepier than intended) I wrote this shortly after I was dumped for the second time by the same guy. Oh the joys! But that’s another story which requires effort to write about, for which I have none. Anywho, I was feeling a bit down, and I thought about all the different types of relationships that are out there. My train of thought was interrupted when a friend came over to watch a film, which triggered something else in my ever-so-small brain. I thought that some relationships are like some of my favourite films (or not so favourite as you will soon see). I’ve decided I’m going to share it with you. May I present to you:

H.x’s Guide to Relationships: The Film Edition

1.       Captain America/Prince of Persia/Shrek 1-4

This is the type of relationship that gets loads of hype from your friends, such as “OMG you two would be great together!!” or “You two suit! You’re like the same person!!” This goes on and the relationship starts out fantastic, but trails off and get incredibly boring, leading to rubbish ending.

2.       Knight and Day

I’m so glad I only paid £5 for this DVD. This is the type of relationship that is rubbish from start to finish. Basically you didn’t want the relationship in the first place, but you got peer-pressured into it, maybe by your mother or a friend. It ends badly and you never want to see them again.

3.       Did you hear about the Morgans?

This one wasn’t the easiest to come up with an explanation. This is the type of relationship that could swing either way, depending on your taste in men and relationships. If you’re into 100% pure cheesiness throughout your relationship, then find yourself a “Did you hear about the Morgan’s man” who will shower you in all kinds of romantic gestures. However, that depends if you’re really into that sort of thing.

4.       Avatar

I personally love this film, especially for its special effects. However it’s the storyline that takes main focus in this relationship comparison. This is the type of relationship that seems really good, until you realise that it’s ripping everyone else off. That could be in that it’s copying everyone else and not standing out as a relationship. If you don’t understand what I’m on about, then I’ll explain. “Avatar” has basically futurised the story line of “Pocahontas”.

5.       Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief

This is another one of those relationship types that could swing either way, much like “Did you hear about the Morgans?” This is the type of relationship that is totally different from everyone’s expectations. This film is totally different in some aspects compared to the book. That means that the relationship would follow suit, making it totally different from what everyone has said. The relationship will either work out or fail depending on what your friends say.

6.       Harry Potter series 1-8

I’m a massive fan of Harry Potter, and I know many of my friends are too, so I have to be careful what I say. This is the type of relationship that has a few bumps along the way but overall it results in a happy ending. By this I mean that some of the Harry Potter films weren’t as good as others but it had a brilliant ending, and so would this type of relationship.

7.       Toy Story series 1-3

This is the ULTIMATE type of relationship. This is the relationship that everyone wants. This is the type of relationship that gets better and better throughout the duration and has a happy ending. If you don’t want one of these then something is seriously wrong.

So what type of relationship do you have? Or if you’re single and ready to mingle like I am, what type of relationship do you want in the future? I’m making a new poll to vote on, so don’t forget to post up vote!

Live long and prosper

H.x

Sea Foam giving me advice.....who knew?

“Love is the most powerful motivator in the world. It spurs mortals to greatness. Their noblest, bravest acts are done for love.”

Those words were spoken by the Greek goddess Aphrodite herself. Well at least she said them in Rick Riordan’s book “Heroes of Olympus: The Lost Hero” I must admit, even though the book is aimed at children aged between 9-11 (yes I am that immature) but it is an amazing book! It follows on from the “Percy Jackson” books (another set of amazing books) and even though they are complete fiction, they have helped out a lot over the years. They’ve killed a heck of a lot of time, plus when my friend’s talk about their old classical civilisation lessons and about Greek mythology, I can chime in a fair bit because I sort of know what I’m talking about. This makes me very happy. It also gives my brain a chance to float away to another world and allows me to become a character. You may be thinking right now “This girl is a complete nutcase” but can you honestly say you’ve never read a book and thought that you would want to be them? Unfortunately, as my imagination can get quite bad, I tend to get this with television as well. It’s extremely hard not to look at someone on TV, or read about a character in a book and go “I want to be them!” I am yet to meet a person that can prove me wrong. If I do find someone that feels that way, then I think the world will have started to become a much duller place.

Also, Greek mythology has always fascinated me. Aphrodite’s creation is one that is amazing, even if it is considered myth. Gaia and Ouranos, the gods of the Earth and Sky, gave birth to the Titans. One of these Titans was called Kronos, who famously chopped up his father Ouranos with a scythe given to him by Gaia. (how rude) A piece of Ouranos fell from the sky and landed in the ocean, creating sea foam. From this sea foam rose the goddess of love we have all come to know as Aphrodite. This makes her the last child of Ouranos. He was the god greater than any other Titan and god. It also makes Aphrodite the eldest Olympian. Fascinating isn’t it? I’ve been to Greece on holiday and been to the Athena Parthenon. I didn’t want to leave it was so beautiful.

However, back to the quote. As of the 3^rd of May, I’ve had sod all to do. So I thought to myself, why not give my brain something to do and then I was literally hit on the head with this book. (Just to say this thought came at 4:24am when I couldn’t sleep and was sorting out my shelves. Awkward) After the minor headache vanished (It’s a thick book) I settled into it, and after several late night reading sessions, I got to page 427. That’s when Aphrodite meets her demigod daughter Piper. Piper is confused about her feelings towards another demigod, and her mother tells her the above quote about love, (which makes and awful lot of sense if you think about it carefully enough) as well as another one, which goes:

“Beauty is about finding the right fit, the most natural fit. To be perfect, you have to feel perfect about yourself – avoid trying to be something you’re not”

I’m not going to lie; this quote stood out to me the most. Out of a 551 page hardback book, those 2 lines mean more than anything else I have ever read. And do you want to know why? If you said no, then I’m going to tell you anyway. They mean more to me than anything else I have ever read because they are the truest words written. You might say that Maths etc is also the truest words ever written. Well yes they are, but they are facts, and this isn’t. It is a piece of fiction! And that makes it so brilliant!

And then it hit me (not the book again I was holding it this time) that when I was in secondary school and college, I was perfect in myself, in that I was completely myself. I did what I wanted, wore what I wanted to wear, ate what I wanted to eat, and I didn’t care about what anyone else thought. Since I came to university, I’ve found that I have had to change so much, not necessarily for myself but so that I can stand being away from home for 9 months. I have had to take care of myself, feed myself, and send myself to bed when I wanted to. I have to change into a person I never thought I would be. But you know what? I’m ok with it. As much as I miss the old me, the one who didn’t care what her face looked like when we woke up, the one who didn’t mind if her hair was Medusa-esque. (I made that look goooooooood) I feel more confident in the person I have become, even if I have had to change to become that better person. I’m still the same at heart, the fun-loving, lazy sod that has a hell of a lot of imagination. But I’ve had to tone it down a bit. (If you saw my room you’d be saying otherwise....just saying)

If you ever feel like you don’t like anything about yourself, ask yourself if you are being yourself, or trying to be something you’re not. If you are remaining true to your inner morals, and doing what you want to do with your life, then you are beautiful and perfect, and don’t ever change. Also, if you are ever feeling down, pick up a child’s fictional book, because it will be one of the best reads you ever have. I have the entire Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus, Skulduggery Pleasant and The Hunger Games collections, and they are the best reads I have ever had.

Live long and prosper

H. x

Typical Girlish Rant

You know when you think you've found that one guy that gets you, that accepts you for the whole package so to speak, who really doesn't care if you're at their flat till 4am in your trackies? Well I thought I had.....

Y'know that little "miracle" that I spoke about in my last post, about finally dating someone? Well that backfired right back at me. Oh the joy of joys to be back on the "market" again. (If you couldn't see the sarcasm there then you need to get your eyes tested) I hate that expression "back on the market." Since when do women look like we needed to be sold at a market?  I know it's not a literal meaning so please don't have a go at me, I'm just a female in a bad mood. Stand clear one and all!

Now I know 3 months doesn't seem like a long time, but for a girl such as myself who hasn't been in a long enough relationship since year 13 (about 2 years ago) 3 months is a heck of a long time. I was pretty happy with everything, and we had managed to get through the 3 week easter gap with 244 miles between us, but when a guy wants to be just friends, you've kind of got to go with it. I'm content with being friends, seeming as we know each other pretty darn well, but there will always be that lingering feeling. Long distance relationships are hard to manage, especially with such a long gap, so I wasn't even sure we would get through the 4 month gap that is just coming up. But, if we had been in a relationship i'm sure it would've worked.

I'm trying to find out interesting facts about long distance relationships but Google is not exactly being helpful. All I can tell is that it doesn't make a difference if you are 1 mile or 100 miles apart, you have the same chances of staying together/breaking up just like everyone else. I always said to myself that I probably wouldn't get a boyfriend at university, so I shouldn't exactly be moaning. I've got a 4 month gap ahead of me where I will be back in Essex, so god knows what's going to happen down there (I can say that because I'm currently still in Stoke for another 17 days....don't expect a lot of blog posts as nothing interesting is planned to happen, well maybe the drama awards night....) You never know, I may end up meeting someone back home, but the chances are slim, as at university I can safely say it is the largest collection of hot men I have seen in a long time all in one place!

Speaking of 17 days stuck in Stoke, anyone have any good ideas of what to do? At the moment my days consist of: sleeping, eating, going on my laptop and that's about it. I occasionally leave my room on the rare blue moon, but that's only because everyone has gone back home. Damn long distance....I've been drawing. I know it sounds silly but it really calms me when I'm feel frustrated. What do you think?

<------ Shows how incredibly bored I get. I have too much time on my hands

Update on the exams front. I PASSED!!! Every single exam is done, dusted and passed!!!! I'm so relieved you have no idea! No more stress (well apart from my social life, but that's normal!)

                                                       

Well i'll be chatting to soon, hopefully from the comfort of my living room rather that the uncomfortableness of my desk chair at university.

H. x

If the tight suit fits, wear it!

Bonjourno!

I have a ton of things to tell you all about!! So exciting!!

Firstly, the exams I was panicing about (Law for Journalists and Shorthand) are over......AND I ACED THEM!!! I was so happy when I came out of the exam rooms! I must admit I had about a 3-day migrane after but it was worth it, because it means I get to come back next year to university! (which is all good seeming as i've already paid quite a big deposit for my house) I'm glad I did as much revision as I could because it made a massive difference. I walked into Law thinking I coud do it, and that I knew what I was talking about, and it made all the difference. I must admit I was petrified about Shorthand, considering that everytime I did a 60 words per minute paper I missed LOADS! However on this I didn't miss a single word out! A new personal best!

The next thing is really nice, and what I consider a miracle. I am dating someone! I know, un-frickin'-believeable but true nevertheless! It's been going rather well and I can't wait to see where it leads to. I know it sounds a bit harsh when I say it's a "miracle", but I have never conisdered myself attractive to the opposite sex. I have always considered myself as a rather large 5' 5 3/4" (I've grown yay!!) girl who no man would be interested in. So, and I'm not jinxing it, but I hope it goes well.

And now for the title. I bet you read that title, then looked at the first bit of my blog, then back at the title and thought "What in the blue hell has that got to do with anything??" Well, I shall respond to your pleas for an answer. I am on a Journalism course at university, and the group of friends we have (the Journos as we like to be called) decided to throw ourselves a party to celebrate the end of our two hardest exams. Now the people who were throwing this party wanted a fun theme, so they chose.....Disney Pixar. Without a doubt one of the best themes to choose outside of Pokemon. They gave us all characters and then left us to our own devices. I was given Dory from "Finding Nemo".

I don't know if you've tried looking online for a Dory costume.....it's extremely hard to find one, especially if you don't want to make one.....

Soooooooooooo I decided to follow a totally different approach. Basically I chose another character. This time I chose Violet from the film "The Incredibles." If you've never seen this film, firstly you haven't lived till you've seen that film, plus the costume is to put it accurately....tight fitting. (The title's starting to make more sense now isn't it) I thought nothing of it until I pieced together my completely homemade costume.....oh.my.goodness! I nearly considered just going in normal clothes, mainly because I thought I looked ridiculous, but also because we were heading out afterwards, and I didn't want to become a laughing stock. However I'm so glad I stuck with it because that was an amazing night! A lot of my friends asked where I had bought my costume from, they didn't believe I made it myself. And a lot of my female friends complimented me on my figure, saying they wanted my curves. You can have them, take them please!

You have no idea how empowering it is to go on a night out looking like I do in an outfit like that and get compliments from people. It felt amazing! I felt so good about myself and about the way I looked that I cried. I'm not ashamed to say it (well a little bit maybe) but hearing compliments like that were so lovely. It's hard to hear comments saying you look nice when you hardly believe it yourself. I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone last night. That means you Sarah, Katie, Gina, Alice, Tom B, Tom L, Tom K, Ross, Jake, Jon, Dan, Charlie, Lewis, Georgie, Ben and John.

This is the outfit that empowers a woman. If you ever need a costume to feel good about, try this one, it cost me £7 in total!

H. x

There's more to life than exams...but they really don't help!

If life was fair:

1) I would have passed my driving test first time
2) Chocolate would be good for you
3) Petrol would be cheaper
4) I would only take exams that I will actually need!!!

As you can probably tell by the amount of exclamation points, plus the title of this blog, I have exams pretty much immenant. I have 2 coming up: Law for Journalists and (my arch nemisis) Shorthand. I, without a shadow of a doubt, hate Shorthand with a passion! I don't even need it for my chosen career path! I wish to be either: a presenter; a camera-woman or an editor. None of these require me to write stuff down at 60/80/100 words per minute. Even my own mother commented on my notebook as "full of doodles."

Now I'll be the first to admit I didn't see my chosen career paths until I arrived at university, but I do thnk that universities need to stop piling on the presure of needless exams. I know plenty of universities that do my course that don't even examine students in their first year. They teach all the details and skills and bring up the speed in the first year, then put them in the exams in the second year......OH C'MON!!!! Why can't we do that?!? Law is not a problem for me. I'm not meaning to sound too pretentious but Law for Journalists (compared to my other subjects) is my speciality. However, give me technical stuff to do and I am there!! But unfortunately it's sod's law that I finally find out what I want to do with my life and I've missed the deadlines for the modules. They had the perfect one for me but my brain doesn't kick into gear quick enough.

I've got the revision gear needed, I just lack the pure motivation. Things have started perking up for me in my personal life, so my brain just doesn't seem to care anymore.
Housten.....we have a problem.....

Hopefully by my next blog everything will be peaceful again. I can't be dealing with damaging my future because of 1 lousy exam!

Shorthand: You will NOT get the best of me!
I WILL kick your doodled butt!!!


H. x